Friday, November 25, 2011

Kid Gloves Vs. Warm Woolen Mittens

We've all heard the phrase "to treat with kid gloves" used to describe a need for gentleness and ease of touch. What's interesting is that kid gloves are made from the hides of young lambs. I'm doubtful that the former, natural owners of these hides were treated with the same special kindness that's used to describe such treatment of others.

I have owned a few pairs of kid gloves throughout the years. Sadly, I have never previously pondered their origin. I only wondered and marveled at their softness, lively dyed colors and snug fit. Would I feel better wearing them if I knew with certainty that the young lambs who sacrificed their lives for this human luxury were killed in a humane and spiritual manner? No! I don't need to wear these gloves, when there are so many superior and kinder versions - namely fleece and wool.

Fleece and wool kindly weave warmth and softness over us in times of chiliness. This is a far superior way to keep our hands and fingers happy in winter months. Therefore, I commit to fully reject kid gloves in favor of kinder, gentler sources of warmth. I also recommend a revision of that well known saying to better align with its meaning. So, from now on, I will be saying "to treat with warm woolen mittens" (Julie Andrews knew!) They're one of my favorite things and they're how I choose to treat others, and how I'd like others to treat me.

Stay Warm...
Kim :)

Friday, November 4, 2011

Three

Three is on my mind today. And it's a perfect topic for my third blog post.

The struggle of three - the third-wheel, the odd-man out, the triangle dymanic (I made that up) - it's what happens when three people try to be best friends. One of the three always ends up feeling left out at some point. Three doesn't work well when going to amusement parks - one must ride alone. We all know that even numbers are just plain easier!

One of my 7 year old daughter's BFFs told her (and me) today that 3 just doesn't work out. This was her explanation for excluding my daughter from the ever-important tire swing play at recess. My daughter's other BFF is the third in this triangle.

Jealousy, insecurity, fear of loss - these are the heightened sensations of threesomes. Three causes pain and hurt!!

I remember this struggle all too well from my own 9th grade BFF threesome. I had two BFFs and the three of us were a well-balanced triangle for a short period of time; until the angles between my two BFFs grew larger than those with me. I don't remember how the shift occured, but suddenly, I was the odd-man out. I hadn't done anything to make this so, it was just the triangle dymanic playing out in our threesome. The angles are rarely equal. Even when the triangle appears on the surface to have equal 60 degree angles, those 180 degrees are often acquired by variable and differing angles. Sixty degree angles of precision are impossible to achieve in real life, when feelings, emotions and human interactions act to constantly influence the triangle.

The twist that I find so interesting is that in the world of design and writing - three is supreme! Odd numbers create visual interest and generate dynamic movement. Three is beautiful and energetic in its inherent lack of balance and equality. The Rule of Three tells more... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_three_(writing)

This is the story of LIFE. Nothing is ever equally distributed. We resist that discomfort. But the beauty of that discomfort if what makes life so fascinating!

My daughter is just beginning to learn about this triangle dynamic. But I have finally learned to relish the lack of balance in three and appreciate the interest it can bring to one's life.

So go and embrace three --- sometimes you ride with your friend, sometimes you ride alone, and someday the three of you will laugh about it over a glass of wine (all-the-while wondering why you weren't the first one of the two BFFs who was called about this get together!) What's up with that?

Kim :)

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Why Do You Want to KNOW?

I was just reading a report from Harvard’s Kennedy School that ponders our movement from Gov 2.0 to Society 2.0. In the report, the discussion of Facebook, Twitter and other social media led one city’s mayor to query WHY people want to know what everyone else is doing from day-to-day. This is a common question – at least for those who haven’t yet waded into the technology of social media. Once a trepidatious foot has been dipped in that water, however, one quickly becomes fully immersed in the fluid trivialities of others’ lives.

Those of us who are regular and familiar users of such technology have already discovered the strange pleasure in reading about a friend’s remodeling project, a cousin’s party exploits, or an acquaintance’s gourmet cooking adventures. On its face, those appear to be rather dull topics that probably wouldn’t inspire hours of deep dialogue at a face-to-face gathering. So we ask – why do we want to know?

These daily “posts” on Facebook and Twitter are really just an extension of the random conversations we would be having with one another if we had the time to get together. These are the types of conversations that we typically don’t think twice about as we maneuver through our lives. Yet, these small and even meaningless bits of information work as super glue to connect us.

In his book Bowling Alone, Putnam posits that communal disconnection started to occur in the sixties and seventies with a decrease in bowling leagues and other social activities that had been the informal cornerstone of American engagement and community-building for decades.  Disengagement from others’ lives and a loss of community occurred for many reasons, such as the increasing complexity and demands of family life. This doesn’t mean that people no longer wanted to be a part of a community or no longer wanted to know what was happening; they just didn’t have the time. Long gone are the days of aproned-mothers gathering at a neighbor’s clothes line to connect about their lives, and unawares – build their community. Now we have Facebook and Twitter. It’s our new “clothes line” – our new neighborhood coffee shop, new local bar, and new bowling alley. 

Technology has only made it easier to know all you ever wanted about everyone and everything, and with less time invested. This “knowing” is what helps build community and connection. We don’t have time to chat at the clothes line anymore (let alone time to actually get the clothes off the floor and into the washing machine), but there is time to check Facebook a few minutes each day. That’s a good thing! Because, those of us who are fully immersed in this type of social media will tell you that the little time invested in reading about the happenings in our friends’ and family’s worlds, and to comment on one’s own world, works to bring us  closer together and re-formulate “community.”  It creates a sense of “place” in this ever expanding cyber world.